Uncertain Middles Part 4
by MuseandMe2
Summary: This is a continuation of the Uncertain Middles stories. This picks up where Part 3 Fever left off. Voyager comes across a hospitable planet with a gracious host and a possible way home. But will Janeway take it and, if not, will Chakotay force her to?
1. Chapter 1

Janeway and Chakotay sat side by side on the bridge. It had been a rather uneventful few weeks and Chakotay had performed his First Officer duties with a cool professionalism that unnerved her. After the blood fever had been purged from their systems, the platonic intimacy the two friends had shared remained elusive, no doubt a consequence of the ultimate intimacy they had almost succumbed to.

Janeway glanced over and he nodded. "Captain?"

She pursed her lips and shook her head as she returned her attention to her monitor.

"Captain," Paris said. "We are receiving a distress call."

She stood and said, "On screen, Mr. Paris."

A man with graying hair pulled tightly back appeared. "Greetings, friends."

"Hello, I'm Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Starship Voyager. What do you need assistance with?"

"Assistance? I am in no need of assistance."

Janeway crossed her arms. "Then why are you sending out a distress call?"

"Because it is you who are in distress. I am Gath of the planet Sikaria. I invite you to take respite with us and enjoy our hospitality."

She noticed Chakotay rose beside her out of the corner of her eye and looked back. His face was as intrigued as hers. Turning around, she said, "We appreciate the invitation."

"Allow me to come aboard your ship. I have gifts for you and I will help with the preparations for your visit to our world."

Janeway hesitated and then said, "Mr. Tuvok, please make the normal arrangements to receive our guest."

Gath's face disappeared from the screen just as Neelix walked onto the bridge with a tray of food. "Mr. Neelix," Janeway said. "Do you know anything about the planet Sikaria?"

Neelix's eyes lit up. "Sikaria? I certainly know of them. Very hospitable. Pleasure seekers."

"Pleasure seekers?" Paris repeated.

Janeway patted his shoulder. "Calm down, Mr. Paris. You're still a member of this crew."

"Well, that depends. I may tender my resignation after I hear about this. Just what kind of pleasure are we talking about?"

Neelix rubbed his hands together. "Well nothing that may satisfy your unique appetite Mr. Paris. Their pleasure activities, from what I understand, are more high brow, Captain. Literature, education, art, antiquities, history, etc."

Paris turned back to his station. "Never mind. Count me out."

Janeway smiled. "What's the matter, Tom? Afraid you may be introduced to some culture?"

"Yes, and culture and I do not mingle well, Captain."

"I doubt that. I think you may enjoy it if you gave it a chance. Mr. Tuvok, let's go greet our guest."

Gath proved to live up to his planet's reputation of being the most hospitable and enjoyable host even aboard Voyager. Janeway agreed to authorize shore leave for the crew and accompanied her host down to his planet. He beguiled her with food, drink, and luxury items that their people had imported from throughout the quadrant. Janeway allowed herself to indulge in the niceties of the new world while also enjoying the beautiful park-like surroundings of Sikaria.

The next evening, Chakotay met her on the planet's surface in just such a place. "Care to take a walk, Captain?"

Janeway was pleased he had relaxed his cool demeanor and offered her hand. As they walked through the planet's gardens under the bright moonlight, she said, "This is a beautiful planet."

"Yes," he said. "It is."

"You've been rather quiet lately, Commander."

"Just doing my job, Captain."

She stopped. "You're doing it too well. What was that speech you made to me about burying myself in my work and not taking the time to enjoy myself personally?"

Chakotay grinned. "Well, Captain, I see this little shore leave has gotten to you. Good. I told you that you needed a break. It feels good to let go, doesn't it?"

She recalled those same words he had said in anger a few days ago. "Yes, Chakotay, it does."

"You should do it more often. That's all I meant to say to you that day."

"I'm trying."

"Try harder."

She smiled and her eyes roamed over his face. She raised a hand to gently touch his tattoo. "Do you mind if I ask…"

"It's in honor of my father. He died when our planet was ceded to the Cardassians. They were brutal with their relocation efforts."

Janeway pulled her hand away. "I see. I'm sorry."

Chakotay silently chastised himself. "No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way."

"Yes, you did. My father is gone too. I know how that hurts."

"Do you mind if I ask how he died?"

Janeway laughed softly. "You mean you haven't pulled up my biological profile yet? I find that hard to believe, Chakotay. I'm sure it was the first file you accessed when I invited you on board my ship."

He chuckled and said, "I do know your father was an Admiral. Other than that, there weren't many personal details in it."

"There didn't have to be. Everybody knew what happened. It was an accident. We crashed on an ice planet and I couldn't rescue them before the shuttle sank. I was the only survivor."

"Them?"

"My fiancé died along with my father that day."

"Fiancé?"

She stared off into the distance. "Yes. I lost the two men I loved most that afternoon and I think we should change the subject now."

He put a hand on her arm. "I'm sorry." He paused and said, "I take back what I said about wanting to involve myself in your personal life."

She looked up at him. "Well, Commander, I don't know if that makes me happy or disappointed. May I ask why?"

Chakotay grinned. "Disappointed? I mention it because you seem to keep losing fiancés."

She sighed. "Yes, I do. Maybe I'm just not meant to be married."

Chakotay squeezed her arm. "You're meant to be loved, Kathryn. Everyone is."

She allowed him to draw her into his chest and hug her tight. She welcomed the embrace and grew confused when he pulled away. But then, she watched his head dipped towards her and he caught her lips in his. She wound her arms around his neck and she deepened the kiss.

Chakotay's hands dropped lower and this time it was she who pulled away.

"Kathryn."

She put her hand over her mouth and shook her head. "I can't. I'm sorry, Chakotay, but I just can't. I'm so sorry I keep doing this to you." She took a few steps and added, "We just can't be alone like this."

"I understand. But I'm not sorry I keep pushing you. It's the right thing to do and you'll know that when you're ready."

"The right thing to do?"

He sighed and drew close. "Be with me. No other man is going to put up with you like I will."

She smiled and said, "I've found two others before you. Don't be so arrogant, Commander."

As she turned and walked down the path alone, he called, "I'm just as stubborn as you are, Captain. I'll wait."

Janeway laughed as she quickened her stride and returned to the ship.

Janeway was in her ready room when the door chimed. "Come."

Harry entered along with B'Elanna. "We have something to tell you, Captain," Harry said.

"Harry, let me do the talking," B'Elanna said.

"But I'm the one who traveled in it."

"But I'm the one who has to adapt it for Voyager and I can explain the technical aspects that we will need to do that."

"I did graduate from the Academy, B'Elanna. I took all the courses even the engineering ones."

"And just what is that supposed to mean, Starfleet? That I don't know as much as you do because I dropped out? I don't see you running the warp core. You only send signals that, without my department, go nowhere. You communicate nothing and become dead weight. Useless dead weight."

Janeway rose and put a hand in between them to draw their attention back to her. "Did you have a point in coming in here to have this argument? And just what may I ask are we arguing over?"

B'Elanna jumped in front of her desk and said, "Captain, the Sikarians have technology to transport us across the quadrant."

"What?"

Harry stood next to her and said, "It's true, Captain. I went 40,000 light years with…with a guest last night."

"40,000? With the young woman you were with at the marketplace?" Janeway asked.

Harry blushed. "Yes, Captain."

"Where did you go?"

"Some place I've never been but I did confirm I was 40,000 light years from where we started."

"We can use this for Voyager," B'Elanna added. "We can get ourselves home decades faster."

"Well, wait a minute. We can use it if the Sikarians will allow us to access it. Harry, did your lady friend give you any idea if the Sikarians would be open to giving us access to this device?"

Harry nodded. "She said the leaders would have to approve it but she didn't see why they would deny us."

"They haven't denied us anything yet," B'Elanna said.

Janeway thought a moment. "True, but we're also open to sharing a great deal. But if Gath ever wanted access to Voyager's blueprints…"

"The Prime Directive," Harry said.

Janeway nodded. "We don't trade our technology with anyone. They may feel the same way and we would have to respect that."

"But, Captain," B'Elanna said. "This could get us home. Home! I think we should try."

"Oh I have every intention of broaching the subject, B'Elanna. But let's see what their ability to share is first and what their terms are second."

"Captain," B'Elanna said. "We need this. This is what we've been looking for."

Janeway took a sip from her coffee cup and placed it back down on her desk. "Would you like me to have Tuvok round up the security forces now, B'Elanna? We could invade at dawn. What do you say, Mr. Kim? Is that what you two actually have planned?"

The doors opened and Chakotay walked in just as B'Elanna jumped across the desk. Slamming down her hand, she said, "This isn't funny! You're the reason we're stranded here, Captain, and now we have a chance to get out of the situation you put us into and you think it's a big joke! Maybe you have no life and no one to get back to but I do and so does everybody else on this ship!"

B'Elanna's words cut deep and Janeway stared as Chakotay grabbed B'Elanna by the neck and dragged her back.

"Apologize to the Captain, now!" he demanded.

"I will not! You may be content to stay here and play house with her but I have a fight to get back to. The Maquis need us! Now we have a way to get back there and she won't take it."

"What are you talking about?" Chakotay looked at the Captain as he released B'Elanna from his hold. "You found another wormhole?"

"Technology, Chakotay," B'Elanna said. "The Sikarians have a transportation device that can take us 40,000 light years from here."

"What?"

"It's true, Commander," Harry said. "I went 40,000 light years last night and I was told the device could accommodate a ship the size of Voyager."

Chakotay looked at Janeway. "And the Sikarians are willing to let us use it?"

"That's the part we were just talking about, Commander," Janeway said. "Lt. Torres would like us to storm Sikaria and take it by force, if necessary."

"We can't do that," he said.

"Well, I'm glad you agree, Commander."

B'Elanna took Chakotay's arm. "You can't be serious? We found what we've been looking for. A way home. Just like we got here. You can't just pass this up, Chakotay. Why even bother traveling if we are not serious about getting ourselves home? We should just settle on the first M Class planet and give up."

Chakotay shook his head. "No one is talking about giving up, B'Elanna. Have we even contacted the Sikarians and asked them if they would allow us to use it?"

B'Elanna looked at the Captain who stepped around her desk and said, "I would be happy to go down to the planet now and make the request. Let's not start a fight we may not have to engage in yet."

B'Elanna took a deep breath. "Thank you, Captain."

"Get back to Engineering, Lieutenant. Harry, you go with her. Get together and see if you can give B'Elanna a good idea of any modifications we may need to make if the Sikarians are willing to allow us access to their technology. We'll want to get home as soon as possible if this works out."

"Aye, Captain," Harry said. He nodded at B'Elanna and, together, they walked out of the room.

As the door shut, Janeway looked at Chakotay. "Well, Commander, if they're right and we can use this transporter, this may be your last week as my First Officer."

"Maybe. And then maybe you might finally let me be something more."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Just a quick thank you to everyone who has taken the time to send me a note. It's very much appreciated.**

Janeway hurried to the transporter room with Chakotay's words still ringing in her ears. The fact that he would even considered pursuing a romantic relationship away from their forced journey together confused and at the same time heartened her. She had always questioned the sincerity of his feelings or attraction and believed they would quickly dissipate once they were back home. She still had a pretty good hunch they would especially after their wormhole experience. She wasn't about to get her hopes up. She had been disappointed on both prospects too many times already.

Gath greeted her as she materialized on the planet. "Captain, how nice of you to join me again. I do appreciate your company."

"Thank you, Gath. But I actually have an important matter to discuss with you."

"As your message indicated. What can I do for you? Anything I have is yours."

Janeway smiled. "Well, hold that thought. You don't know what I'm about to ask for."

Gath spread his arms wide. "Anything I can give is yours, Captain. It always will be."

"That's what I'm worried about."

Gath grew confused. "Riddles, Captain. Speak plainly."

"I'm sorry. One of my crew members, Harry Kim, was the guest of one of your young ladies last night."

"Ah, I see! And he wishes to marry her. He moves fast but we can have the most exquisite wedding…"

Janeway put up her hands and shook her head. "No, no. It's nothing like that. He did enjoy himself immensely, but he mentioned she had taken him away."

"Yes? Where did they go?"

"40,000 light years from here."

"Yes, but in what direction? There are many places they could have gone."

"Gath, it doesn't matter. What matters is that they traveled 40,000 light years in seconds." She placed a hand on Gath's arm and drew close. "You know we've been trying to get home to our own planet. 40,000 light years would knock decades off of our trip. I understand this technology can be used to transport vessels. Is there any way you would consider allowing us…"

Gath pulled away and paced with his arms spread open. "Captain, Captain, why would you want to leave a place such as this? I thought you enjoyed our hospitality?"

"We do, Gath, but this isn't our home."

He walked back and took her hands in his. "It can be."

"That's a very nice offer and a generous one but our lives are not here. They are aboard Voyager and in the Alpha Quadrant."

"No, Captain, obviously you belong here with us otherwise the fates would not have brought you."

"Please. It's very important to us. We have families and friends and responsibilities to get back to. Before all of that is lost forever, I need to get my crew home. Please help me."

Gath's serene expression was lost for a moment replaced by irritation but he quickly recovered his smile. "If it's that important to you, Captain, I will ask the leaders to consider your request."

"Thank you. It means a lot to me for you to do that for us."

"As you wish, Captain."

B'Elanna banged her utensils on the mess hall table as she picked at her food. Neelix noticed her agitation and sat down across from her. "Problems in Engineering, Lieutenant? I thought this little visit to Sikaria was supposed to relax everyone. Have you not made it down to the planet? Just about everyone who has is in the best spirits I've seen in a while. It does a morale officer proud. I thought I was pretty good until I see this."

"I'm fine, Neelix."

Neelix looked up as Tuvok and Harry approached. "You don't look fine, Lieutenant. Maybe some fellow crew members might cheer you up. Mr. Tuvok and Mr. Kim, why don't you keep Ms. Torres here company while she finishes the delicious dinner I made?"

"Don't bother," B'Elanna muttered.

Neelix gave the two men a pat on the shoulder while he scampered off to the kitchen. They sat down and Harry said, "Heard anything yet from the Captain?"

B'Elanna shook her head. "Not yet. But I'm sure she'll try her best just like she did when she blew up the array and our way home."

Tuvok stiffened. "Interesting dinner conversation. Is there a reason we are reminiscing and directing such anger towards the Captain?"

Harry quickly filled him in on the Sikarian transportation device. "It's our way home, Tuvok."

"Only if the Sikarians allow us to use it."

"Allow? Allow?" B'Elanna said. "If we just ask nicely and accept the No's we keep getting, I'm not sure why we are bothering to attempt to get home at all."

"So you would have us violate the Prime Directive, Ms. Torres?"

"It doesn't apply!"

Tuvok turned. "And you, Mr. Kim?"

Harry shrugged. "Well, does it? The Prime Directive is to stop us from contaminating other less advanced cultures. This is just hitching a ride from someone more advanced than us. What's the harm? We'll be gone before they know it leaving their system intact. It's not like we are taking something that doesn't belong to us. We're just making use of it for a few seconds. It's potentially sixty years of our lives, Tuvok. Humans and Klingons don't live as long as you do. I want to see my parents again."

Tuvok was silent for a few moments. "Do we know what the Sikarians might want in exchange for our trip if we conducted this in the proper way?"

"B'Elanna and I were talking about that. I think we have something no one else can give them."

"And what's that, Mr. Kim?"

"Stories. Literature. Plays. Millions of them from places and beings they don't even know exist yet."

Tuvok looked at B'Elanna. "That would be tempting to the Sikarians. I suggest we see what the Captain has been able to do and proceed from there."

"And I say we have a better back up plan," B'Elanna said.

"Meaning?" Tuvok said.

"Meaning we get ourselves home. Like Harry said, we have lives to get back to and I want to be young and able when I get back to it."

Several hours later, Janeway rubbed her eyes in her ready room as she tried to concentrate on her stack of reports. She still had not heard back from Sikaria and it did not bode well for her request. B'Elanna's angry face and accusatory words replayed in her head. They were accusations she had made to herself nightly.

Chakotay poked his head in and said, "Mind if I keep you company?"

She smiled tiredly. "Who's going to run the ship?"

"I think we're close enough to hear them yell if something comes up. Something tells me Sikaria isn't going to be attacked any time soon."

"Are you sure of that? B'Elanna is ready to do a one woman mission to the surface to get that transporter device for us."

Chakotay sat down. "Still no word?"

"No." She sat up and said, "And I'm not even sure my request actually made it to the council. I know Gath was quite opposed to letting us go."

"Why?"

"I think he enjoys his role as host too much."

"Well, I can understand wanting to keep Kathryn Janeway to myself for a while longer."

"Chakotay." She shook her head and slumped back in her chair. "I don't have the energy for this right now."

"Oh good. Perfect timing to take advantage of you."

She raised her head. "Excuse me?"

"Relax. I'm on duty, remember?"

She leaned across the desk and folded her hands. "What do you think? If the Sikarians say no, what are my options?"

"Are you asking my permission to authorize a raid and grab the Sikarian's transport device?"

Janeway sat back. "No. I can't do that, can I? It is tempting though, isn't it? I can even justify it myself if I follow B'Elanna's train of thought. It's what a Maquis would do."

"No, it's not."

Janeway glanced at him. "No, Commander?"

"The Maquis only took from those who violated our sovereignty. We never harmed or involved innocents. We never did anything to anyone other than those who aggressed against us first."

"You intercepted Starfleet shipments. You disrupted our supply ships…"

"You ceded my planet to the Cardassians. I win."

Janeway rubbed her face. "Well, I'm too tired to fight the Maquis war with you tonight, Chakotay."

"I don't want to fight with you at all."

Janeway took a breath. "But you would like to get back and rejoin the fight, wouldn't you? That's what you did when we went through that wormhole."

"Of course. That's where I'm needed."

Janeway nodded and fell silent as she fingered her coffee cup.

"What are you thinking, Captain?"

She shrugged. "It doesn't matter. If we went home now, it would be just like that."

Chakotay leaned forward. "You were thinking about us, weren't you? You were considering having a future with me away from this ship."

Janeway looked at him and shook her head. "No. Barring a Starfleet order which may very well come when they find out how I got us home if I decide to violate the Prime Directive, I will still be captain of this ship. And even if I'm not, I will still be serving Starfleet in some capacity."

Chakotay grinned. "Then we're back to the 'catch me if you can' days."

She took another deep breath and said, "This is foolishness to think that you and I could ever be anything other than friends, here or back home."

Chakotay listened to her words. "I don't think so and home hasn't really happened yet. That may still be a long ways away. The Maquis may be successful and not need me once we return."

"It's a nice thought, Chakotay, but you were on the losing end of things when we left. The Maquis' days are numbered. And you still have charges to answer for if we do get back."

"Maybe."

"Definitely."

Chakotay leaned across the desk and said, "You wouldn't come visit me in the penal colony?"

She grinned. "I might make a trip or two if I find the time."

He laughed and said, "You'll be there. You'll have to keep Paris and I from killing each other."

"Actually, I'll be behind the same bars. I can't take technology I don't have permission to utilize."

"Now I kind of like that idea. You and I could be cellmates."

She shook her head and said, "Get out before I throw you out for inappropriate behavior towards a superior officer."

Chakotay chuckled and pointed a finger at her as he rose from the chair. "I never said a word. Those were your inappropriate thoughts, not mine. Shame on you, Captain."

She waved him towards the door. "Out!"

"I'm getting to you, Captain." Chakotay stopped. "Look, for what it's worth, I do want to go home as badly as everyone else on this ship. But stealing our way back is not the way to do it. You know that."

Janeway nodded. "I do. Thank you, Commander, for supporting me."

"I always will, especially when you're doing the right thing. Goodnight, Captain."

Chakotay walked down the corridor later that night with his medicine bundle under his arm after his shift. He stopped and chimed one of the doors. They slid open and B'Elanna appeared.

"Did you get it?" she asked.

Chakotay walked in and pulled a small technological device from underneath. "Here. Test it. Make sure we don't blow the ship to pieces before we activate it."

B'Elanna took it with glee and placed it on her table. She bent over and studied it. "How did you convince the Sikarians to give it to you?"

"I didn't. I made an exchange with an 'unauthorized' person."

B'Elanna straightened up. "Then how do we know it's the real thing and not a fake?"

Chakotay nodded. "That's what you're about to tell me."

B'Elanna studied it again for a few minutes until her eyes lit up. With a smile, she said, "Looks like we're going home."


	3. Chapter 3

Chakotay made his way to the bridge the next morning. He met briefly with B'Elanna in Engineering who had confirmed she had the device wired in and ready to go on his orders. As he walked off the lift, he nodded at the crew, smiled at the Captain, and took his seat.

"Well you're in a good mood this morning," she said.

"I think you'll be in an even better one shortly."

She turned in her chair. "Really? Why?"

"No word from the Sikarians?"

"No. Did they contact you?"

"Captain!" Harry's fingers flew across his console. "Incoming message from Sikaria marked urgent."

Janeway stood up. "On screen."

Gath's frustrated face appeared on screen. "Captain Janeway, I am sorely disappointed in your actions. After all we have given you, you conduct yourselves like this."

"Excuse me? I'm afraid I don't know what you are referring to, Gath."

"You know what you've done! I must ask you to leave Sikaria at once."

"Apparently there's been a misunderstanding which I'm sure you and I can rectify if you tell me what it is you think we've done." Janeway looked back as Chakotay rose behind her and glanced over at Tuvok.

"You will leave now but first, you will return what was taken. We have your Sikarian contact in custody and we ask only for what was stolen."

Janeway's mouth dropped. "We took the transporter."

Gath smiled. "Ah, I see your memory has now returned. You admit your theft!"

Janeway shook her head. "No. I had no knowledge that a member of my crew…It is strictly forbidden under our laws. I assure you that I will hand over my crew member and they will be cooperative in every way with your penal laws. And, I will, of course, have your device returned to you immediately. Mr. Tuvok, assemble a security team. Go to Engineering and have Ms. Torres brought to me. I will personally escort her to Sikaria."

"Bridge to Engineering," Chakotay called.

Janeway looked over and said, "What are you doing, Commander? I don't want to give her an opportunity to give us any trouble. Tuvok, security teams, now!"

B'Elanna's voice came across the comm. "_Ready when you are, Chakotay."_

"What?" Janeway said. "B'Elanna, stand down whatever it is you about to do. Tuvok!"

"Now, B'Elanna!" Chakotay said.

Voyager jumped out of orbit and into open space.

"Captain," Paris said. "Helm control has been re-routed to Engineering."

Janeway looked at Tuvok who stared at Chakotay. She glanced between the two men. "Stop this now!"

Voyager shifted and everyone grabbed something to keep their balance. The ship did a few more twists and turns before B'Elanna's voice came across the comm again. _"The warp core is overloading, Commander. We have to abort!" _

"Do it!" Chakotay said.

Voyager's movement stopped and the whining vessel calmed coming to a stop and drifting lifelessly in space. Janeway steadied herself and stepped down to the helm. "How bad?"

"It's bad, Captain," Paris said. "Considerable damage to the warp core. The engines will need an overhaul as well."

"What happened?"

"I think B'Elanna tried to jump us to the Alpha Quadrant with the new toy she acquired from Sikaria. It didn't work and it almost exploded the ship. Only minor injuries reported though. Nothing worse."

Janeway spun around to Chakotay who had his head down. "You were involved in this?"

He looked up and said, "Captain, I knew you couldn't do it so I did."

Janeway's eyes widened as she tried to stem her rage. Taking a deep breath, she said, "Mr. Tuvok, escort the Commander to the brig. Now!"

She waited but Tuvok did not move. "Tuvok, did you hear me? That is a direct order. The Commander is to be confined to the brig until I can calm myself down enough to speak to him without sending him straight to sickbay!"

Tuvok came out from behind his station and said, "I regret that you must confine me there too, Captain. I knew about and helped plan the exchange with the Commander."

Her rage transformed into confusion and disappointment as she looked at her dearest friend. "You did what?"

"I was the one who downloaded the database for the Sikarian contact, Captain. It was the Commander who made the actual exchange."

"Tuvok," she whispered. "Why?"

"As the Commander said, we knew it could not be you so we endeavored to make the decision for you."

Janeway straightened and placed her hands on her hips. "I see. Is there anyone else who was in on this besides the two of you and my Chief Engineer?"

Harry stepped forward.

Janeway shook her head. "Of course. Anyone else?"

"Juts the four of us," Chakotay said. "B'Elanna handled all the prep work and the installation in Engineering. No one else was involved."

The lift doors opened and B'Elanna walked out, a dejected look on her face. "Captain, I…I wanted to say in person that I'm sorry. I really believed I could get it to work and send us all home. I was mistaken. Their technology was not compatible with ours."

"You were mistaken in a lot more areas than that, Ms. Torres." Janeway paced. "Tom, I want you to take all four of them down to the brig. Given them all a separate room. They are to remain there until further notice."

"Yes, ma'am." Tom jumped up and waved a hand at the lift. "After all of you." He looked back at the Captain and said, "If they are any trouble on the way down?"

"Shoot them," she said sternly.

Tom grinned as the five of them disappeared from the bridge.

Janeway looked around at the rest of her crew and said, "Begin repairs. We're stuck here until we can get the engines back online. Bridge to Engineering."

"_Carey here, Captain."_

"How's the warp core?"

"_We can have it cleaned up in a few hours, Captain. The device was destroyed but it is still attached to our systems. It will take a while unless you want B'Elanna to oversee…"_

"Can you do it, Mr. Carey?"

"_Aye, Captain. But it will take me a bit longer than I suspect it would her since she installed it."_

"Get to it. Keep me informed. Janeway out."

Janeway sat in her ready room a few days later and stared out into space. The repairs had been completed and they were on their way again. She had relieved Harry of his time and placed him back on duty. She knew his own personal guilt would handle most of his punishment.

Tuvok had also been allowed to return to his quarters but not assigned a duty shift yet. She had also allowed B'Elanna back to her quarters under confinement so as not to seem prejudicial against the former Maquis crewmates. Chakotay, however, still sat in his cell. It gave her a small measure of satisfaction to keep him there though she didn't quite know why.

Her door chimed and she called, "Come." Tuvok walked in and she pointed at the chair. "Sit."

He did as she commanded and they sat in silence for several minutes until she asked, "Why?"

"As I said before, Captain, I made the decision I knew you could not make."

"It is not your place to make my decisions for me. I'm really getting tired of the men on board this ship thinking they know what's best for me. This is my command! Not yours or even ours! Is that understood?"

"Yes. However, I do not understand your reference to 'all the men on this ship.'"

She shook her head and waved her hand. "It doesn't matter." Janeway rubbed her temples and said, "Tuvok, I have enough on my shoulders with getting us home. I can't do it if I can't trust my own crew to obey my orders especially the one crew member who I should never have to question!"

"I sincerely apologize, Captain. It was never my intention to undermine your authority."

"But you did."

Tuvok nodded. "I did, Captain. It will not happen again."

"No, Tuvok, it won't. Dismissed."

Janeway continued her sternness with Harry and B'Elanna. Mr. Carey was placed in charge of Engineering with strict orders to report immediately on any display of temper or bad judgment by Lieutenant Torres. From the looks of B'Elanna, Janeway thought she finally understood her place but the Captain made it clear she would have to earn back her trust and respect especially if she was to remain in such a sensitive area of the ship.

Her last visit was to the brig. Chakotay had been confined there for a week and she had put off their meeting simply because she was still too angry to face him and also too angry with herself for once again misjudging him. She walked into the brig area and dismissed the guard.

Chakotay sat on the floor meditating and she sat in the chair and watched him until he opened his eyes a few minutes later. "Captain?"

"Surprised?"

"No. I knew you'd come see me eventually. It is a Captain's duty, after all." He wrapped up his medicine bundle and said, "Thank you for allowing me this."

"I would do so for any crew member."

Chakotay got up and sat on the bench. "Believe me, I know I am not receiving any preferential treatment."

"Really? You're slipping, Commander. You most definitely are receiving preferential treatment. The other three have been placed back on duty and are on the path to earning back my trust and respect which is going to be a very long road for each of them."

"So you're telling me there is no hope in my case and I'm going to remain here indefinitely?"

"Do you think you should?"

He nodded. "Yes."

Janeway decided to test him. "Why?"

"Because, as your First Officer, it was my duty to report on any undermining of your authority or errant behavior on the part of the crew. I failed you."

"You disappointed me even more."

He put his head down. "I know that."

"This is a nice act, Commander. Did you rehearse it? You've had plenty of time to think and prepare for what you would say to me when I came here."

Chakotay's head rose and he walked to the edge of the force field and said simply, "I love you."

Janeway caught her breath. She hadn't expected that.

"I don't know why I love you," he said. "But I do. I knew from the moment we met that you were someone I could respect and who could be an important ally in the right situation."

"Save it. You wanted me as an ally for your own personal gain. To take control of this ship. And you played me just right, didn't you?"

"At first. But then, after watching you day in and day out on the bridge, watching you respond to threats from out there and on this very ship, I admired you. You are one hell of a woman, Kathryn Janeway. And, along the way, I fell in love you."

Janeway smirked. "You've had a lot of love affairs, Commander. But I am curious. What makes me so special in your eyes?"

"The fact that you don't think your special at all. Not deserving of any man to really get to know and love you. You don't want to let anyone in because it hurts too much when they go away which is what has happened to you, over and over again. You push me away because you don't want to hurt when and if you lose me. I won't let you give up on yourself and shut down like that. It's wrong. It's not healthy and I love you too much to watch you do it, Kathryn."

Janeway rose from her chair. "There it is again."

"There what is again?"

"That attitude that you know what's best for me. It's the reason you're sitting behind that force field. You always think you know best."

Chakotay walked away. "I've made a lot of wrong moves."

"You better believe it, Commander, and I won't have it anymore on my ship! So I'm giving you the same ultimatum I gave you a few months ago. Either you do your duty aboard this ship as my First Officer or you take a shuttle and pick a planet and leave!"

Chakotay walked back to just inside the field. "It's that easy for you, Kathryn? You could just dismiss me just like that? Never to be seen again?"

She set her jaw and said, "Yes, Commander. It's that easy. I have an entire crew counting on me to get them home in some way. I can't tolerate any more distractions from you. We're done playing around with each other. I'm sorry but you're not any more important to me than that."

Coldness descended in Chakotay's eyes and he said, "Careful what you wish for, Captain."

Janeway was taken aback but matched his stare and said, "Is that an 'Aye, Captain' or permission to be relieved of this crew?"

He stared for a few more seconds before saying, "Aye, Captain."

Janeway folded her arms. "All right. You'll be confined here for another forty eight hours. But really think about what you just said to me. Make sure you mean what you say because any further transgressions and I will make the choice for you." She stepped up to the force field and added, "And I will follow through on what I just said the very first time you mess up again."

"And I meant every word of what I said here today to you especially the part about loving you."

"Save your agendas, Commander. As I said, if you remain a member of my crew and that's a big if at this point, you'll be nothing more than a fellow crew member to me. Do we understand each other?"

Chakotay eyes darted with hers before he turned away. He walked back and lay down on the bench.

Janeway shook her head and walked away before his voice called her back.

"Captain?"

"Yes, Commander?"

He hesitated and then, without looking at her, he said, "Permission to leave this ship."

Her heart skipped as she tried to settle her expression into what she hoped was a neutral one. "Permission granted, Commander. If that's what you want, I'll have the necessary preparations made. You can depart whenever you're ready."

He didn't look at her. Still staring up at the ceiling, he said, "We detected an M Class planet a few light years from here. It was uninhabited. I'd like to make that my new home."

"As you wish. I'll let you know when the shuttle has been prepped and ready. Provide the guard with a list of anything you think we need to leave with you."

Chakotay waited until he heard her footsteps fade away and then turned around to stare at where she had been.

The next day, Chakotay was greeted by his fellow Maquis shipmates as they bade him goodbye in the shuttle bay. He noticed the Captain was not there and saw Tuvok enter.

Tuvok nodded and said, "The Captain sends her regards and asked me to supply you with this." He pulled out a long range communicator. "We will be in range for several days before we lose contact. If you need anything that we may be able to provide or if anything else comes to mind, this will give you the means to contact us."

Chakotay took the badge and fastened it to his shirt. "She couldn't bear to say goodbye in person, huh, Tuvok? She's going to miss me whether she knows it yet or not. Tell her the communicator works both ways."

"Commander, I have known Captain Janeway for a long time. She will not contact you. If you have any wish to continue with us on this journey, I suggest you make that intention known now. The Captain will not change her mind. She will not ask you to remain on board but she will welcome your decision to remain. As you know, our manpower is limited. We could use your talents"

Chakotay resettled the bag on his shoulder. "Did she ask you to say that to me?"

"No. I came of my own accord and my words are my own. The Captain is indisposed at the moment and I am acting on her behalf but without direct instruction."

"Indisposed? What's wrong with her?"

"An insect bite, Commander. She received it while surveying the planet."

Chakotay smiled. "Surveying?"

"She was performing her duty as Captain. She wanted to be sure the environment was an appropriate one to leave a single crew member."

"Well, she gets another gold star in her log. Congratulate her for me, Tuvok." Extending his hand, he said, "I know we've had our differences but it was nice working with you. Take care of her."

He took Chakotay's hand and said, "With you as well, Commander. And at the risk of once again countermanding the Captain's intentions, I will say to you what she cannot. Stay, Commander. She needs you. We all do."

Chakotay shook his head and released Tuvok's hand. "I can't do that. If she had said that to me herself, I might have considered it. And you can tell her that. Live long and prosper, Tuvok."

"You as well, Commander."

Tuvok stepped back and Chakotay saluted his Maquis mates as he stepped inside the shuttle. Powering it up, he opened the shuttle bay doors and piloted out into space on his way to his new home.


End file.
